Promises to you are tattooed on my palms and they don't mean anything but I'm tired of explaining myself

So I'll let go of it

Instead I'll tell you about the beauty of our world

The infinite amount of perfect moments with perfect people and how we need to cherish them

How we need to create them, because there is a serious shortage of prefect people

but perfect moments?

Endless.

Dancing with your friends, accidental late nights when words are more important than curfews,  the catharsis that comes after tears, the first time you truly get to see a person's soul.

Love.

Never stop celebrating it. Love is the root of all beauty and it's invaluable.

Forgetting that has made me very, very tired.

Dear ______,
I love you. Please be careful with your heart. Don't let it become the hairy heart from that Beedle the Bard story. Love, but learn to love with pure intentions. I hate what I see you doing to yourself. I want to see you happy.
Forever (kind of) in love with you,
Me

Dear _____,
You're kind of scaring me. I wish you didn't.
Confused,
Me

Dear ____,
I don't understand you. Furthermore I don't understand how I feel about you. Sometimes I want to kiss you but sometimes I want to slap you in the face.
Confused but a little in love with you,
Me

Dear ____,
I regret how little I saw you this summer. I love you. I hope we get to have many adventures this year. Let's make it count.
Love,
Your wife

Dear _____,
If I was into girls I'd marry you.
Love,
Me

Dear _____,
Calm down. Please. Go away and calm down.
Still waiting,
Me

Dear ___,
I hate you more than I've ever hated a person in my life dear lord please die.
Fantasizing about murder,
Me

Dear _____,
I truly have no idea how to react to you. Literally why. I don't know why I'm nice to you. You're cute.... But little. And also clingy. Literally. Please let go of my leg.
Kind of scared of you,
Me

Dear _____,
I like you. When you're normal.
Love,
Me

Somehow, you've forced yourself into my life.
There's so much that's strange about that.
Mostly the fact that you seem to enjoy talking to me more than most of my friends.
Mostly because I'm nearly certain the next year of my life will be some sort of Gym/work/online school-induced hell. And you're turning out to be the one person who won't contribute to that.

Now I'm thinking about this looming school year again.

Shit.

I wish it was over. I wish it could be over so I don't have to worry anymore. So I can work and make money and hopefully be accepted to a college to learn something.

Teach me how to love properly. Teach me how to feel things the way I'm supposed to. Teach me how to smile. Please.

I'm begging for enlightenment. For inspiration, for talent, for worth. I'm begging to graduate. God.

I never thought I'd need that so badly. Begging to graduate. Hoping I'm not so lazy that I end up with a GED and no prospects for my future. Hoping I get to work doing something I love. Hoping my lack of following through on my ambition doesn't fuck me over again.

Dear God,
Help me. I think this time around... I really need you. Forgive me.
Still confused,
Me.

Isn't it funny how even though I still see you most days, you're already a ghost to me?