Endymion Fell

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contradict the things i say

Posted by Unknown Tuesday, April 29, 2014 1 comment

"It will be better this way. You will feel freedom and happiness."

This doesn't feel like happiness. It feels artificial.

"But aren't you happier?"

... yes.

"Then let it be."

I have known darkness.

I have known light.

I have known grey and colors and seen the sun set and the moon rise and waited on a ledge for it to happen again.

Jump.

Live.

Jumping means living because I won't fall.

Truth

Posted by Unknown Thursday, April 24, 2014 5 comments

Hi. I'm Endymion. And I can say that I really don't mind that you all know my name. Most of you probably don't know me, but now I guess I'm free to show you who I am.

Yes, my name is Hailey. (Just Hailey. Don't call me Hay because that just sounds stupid.) I'm an artist. I create pictures too, not just word-thoughts.

Now I can show you.

I act too. I become other people in real life too, not just here in these blogs. I'm a junior, scared for next year and my future. Scared for my grades.

I am Hailey. Its nice to meet you.

Empty chairs at empty tables

Posted by Unknown Wednesday, April 23, 2014 1 comment

Hey there Mister cellophane

Posted by Unknown Thursday, April 17, 2014 1 comment

Hold my hand. Show me that you're real.

(because you seem so transparent.)

Please don't be a figment of my anxiety and show me who you are.

Hold my hand again. Touch my face again. Kiss me again. Hug me and hold me and be with me and

Show me that you are real.

Talk to me, Mister Mistake. Teach me because without you I'll never learn.

I'm a terrible student.

Hold my hand, Mister Love. Support me because without you I'll never be brave.

Kiss me, Mister Sadness. Remind me because without you I'll never know happiness.

Mister You... Don't abandon me. Stay with me because I'm scared of you but I'm more scared without you.

A sort of anti-marriage

Posted by Unknown 0 comments

Somewhere along the line the sun started rising from the wrong direction. The porch in front of my house got smaller and it only makes me want to spend more time there but still I don't.

The yard is messier and newer and the weather warmer. It's old and new and borrowed but it's not quite blue anymore and I think I like that most of all.

Not to say I like it there. I guess it doesn't really matter. I'm never there anyway.

What if we called this a song of ice and fire

Posted by Unknown Tuesday, April 15, 2014 1 comment

"I can't take much more of this. I don't know how to act around you or what to do and it's killing me."

This is for YOU.

Because I can't hold all of this in anymore and I know I'm too impatient for my own good and I'm sorry.

It causes me to make quite a lot of mistakes. And in doing that, I've hurt you.

I'm sorry.

I don't think you want to hear anything but I love you and I made a mistake I know but I never meant to hurt you or upset you. I only meant to love you.

I know that what I said was "You need me" but what I meant was "I need you."

I was wrong. Is that what I have to say?

I need you.

I need you to talk to me, because until then I am lost and slowly cracking under my own pressure.

You are breaking me.

Maybe I deserve that. Maybe I am breaking you too.

But we can fix that.