Hold on for a second.

Let me speak for a moment.

Don't get offended if I swear for a few minutes.

I am really fucking angry. And I don't care how shit this is, because I'm not sure if you heard me:

I AM REALLY FUCKING ANGRY.

I hate using caps, I hate it when people use them in their posts. It makes me uncomfortable, okay.

But

I AM REALLY FUCKING ANGRY.

What are you supposed to to do when someone you love, someone who you've only ever loved decides to hurt you? When they not only hurt you physically and emotionally, but when they laugh about it and you feel like some lost puppy because the reasoning behind their actions completely escapes you and you cannot comprehend the reasoning.

This sounds like I have an abusive boyfriend. I'm realizing that as I reread what I just wrote.

And I guess it doesn't sound too far off, which is weird to realize.

And unless I want to explain the entire situation to the internet and dozens of friends and acquaintances there isn't much more to say.

I'm just really fucking angry and I'm taking it out on my blog.

Sorry I don't have an artistic abstract poem to explain my feelings of divine rage or whatever.