Somehow, you've forced yourself into my life.
There's so much that's strange about that.
Mostly the fact that you seem to enjoy talking to me more than most of my friends.
Mostly because I'm nearly certain the next year of my life will be some sort of Gym/work/online school-induced hell. And you're turning out to be the one person who won't contribute to that.

Now I'm thinking about this looming school year again.

Shit.

I wish it was over. I wish it could be over so I don't have to worry anymore. So I can work and make money and hopefully be accepted to a college to learn something.

Teach me how to love properly. Teach me how to feel things the way I'm supposed to. Teach me how to smile. Please.

I'm begging for enlightenment. For inspiration, for talent, for worth. I'm begging to graduate. God.

I never thought I'd need that so badly. Begging to graduate. Hoping I'm not so lazy that I end up with a GED and no prospects for my future. Hoping I get to work doing something I love. Hoping my lack of following through on my ambition doesn't fuck me over again.

Dear God,
Help me. I think this time around... I really need you. Forgive me.
Still confused,
Me.