To the seniors(the second of infinitely many)
To the seniors,
This is it. Today was the last day. You've started a new chapter and so have I. One that feels so lonely my heart is breaking because of it. I hope you like college. I hope you have parties, make friends, do stupid things with new people who are so much better than stupud highschoolers.
I hope you drink to being an adult. I hope you raise your glass to a bright future. I hope you have late nights and late mornings like you never used to have.
To growing up. To being free. To leaving highschool in the past.
Estranged, me
To the seniors,
How did you do it? For the first time today, I had to tell someone that next year I'm going to be a senior in highschool. The words stuck to my throat like the elmers glue we used in elementary school. One time, and I almost lost it.
I am lost.
I don't know how to grow up. I don't know how to be the oldest, because I still feel like a sophomore most days. You are supposed to be there, telling me how to get through all these classes. Telling me I don't need to do anything in Mangam's class because he doesn't grade anything. I can't be a leader, people shouldn't look up to me. That jacket should have your name on it, not mine.
How do I do this next year?
Errant, me
To the seniors,
I don't want to pick up that pen and write anything to you in the yearbook because writing something means saying goodbye and I know it's hard for you to leave but right now it's harder for me to know I'm facing next year alone.
Ephemeral, me
This is it. Today was the last day. You've started a new chapter and so have I. One that feels so lonely my heart is breaking because of it. I hope you like college. I hope you have parties, make friends, do stupid things with new people who are so much better than stupud highschoolers.
I hope you drink to being an adult. I hope you raise your glass to a bright future. I hope you have late nights and late mornings like you never used to have.
To growing up. To being free. To leaving highschool in the past.
Estranged, me
To the seniors,
How did you do it? For the first time today, I had to tell someone that next year I'm going to be a senior in highschool. The words stuck to my throat like the elmers glue we used in elementary school. One time, and I almost lost it.
I am lost.
I don't know how to grow up. I don't know how to be the oldest, because I still feel like a sophomore most days. You are supposed to be there, telling me how to get through all these classes. Telling me I don't need to do anything in Mangam's class because he doesn't grade anything. I can't be a leader, people shouldn't look up to me. That jacket should have your name on it, not mine.
How do I do this next year?
Errant, me
To the seniors,
I don't want to pick up that pen and write anything to you in the yearbook because writing something means saying goodbye and I know it's hard for you to leave but right now it's harder for me to know I'm facing next year alone.
Ephemeral, me
Categories:
Somehow, we'll get through it.
ReplyDeleteAnd someone will write you a letter this time next year.
This is how I will feel next year, and a little of what I'm feeling now. It's why I'm debating graduating with you.
ReplyDeleteGee. I'll miss all of this and it's throwing me into a future nostalgia. Is that a thing? It is now.
ReplyDeleteI don't actually know how I made it. I kinda guessed {like math}
ReplyDeleteNone of us made it.
ReplyDeleteI teared up at that picture of me. HAILEY BROOKS. HAILEY FREAKING BROOKS. I WAS ALL READY TO BE DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL AND I HAVE HAD NO SADNESS LEAVING IT BEHIND ME UNTIL THIS FRACKING POST. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE THOUGHT I'LL MISS HIGH SCHOOL. WHAT THE HELL HAILEY BROOKS. YOU SEE WHAT YOU DO TO ME? I know you think I'm leaving you, and I guess that's true, but really it feels like you're leaving me.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know how to do anything at this point last year either. I still don't think I did anything. I still don't think I did it right-scratch that, I know I didn't do it right. You're going to do it right. I have faith in you. Please don't leave me. Call me sometime, because I really do want to hang out and let you get to know me, because of that one time I made the comment "No one in Productions actually knows me except Sarah, except everyone in Productions thinks they know me." and you said "I want to know you." and typing it out it sounds kinda weird, but it really meant a lot to me and I've never forgotten that for that moment I felt genuinely cared about.
DAMN YOU HAILEY BROOKS I THOUGHT I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL.
(wow that was a Trevor Elzey worthy rant.)
I adore you
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