I see
a man across
from me
He is filled
with darkness
Swarming
with flies

I scatter them

My hand shakes and
I tremble
Not because I am cold
Because I am too warm
Because you burn me
With your
Piercing eyes

And I don't cry

I seem to have forgotten

I want to talk about you
But I don't want to go into specifics
Because then you'll know who you are
(if you ever read this)
And you'll know who I am.

But I have a lot of feelings about you.
A lot of confusion and a little hurt and a lot of caring and a little love.

I know these feelings are beyond pointless. You know that too.

And I'm sorry, you know. I'm so sorry about that. I wish I didn't. I wish I didn't have to be a burden to you that way.

But I'm not sorry because you are cute and honest and funny and so many other things.

But I am sorry because I see how much more comfortable you are with all the others I see you with. I'm sorry that I get jealous when you see them and your face lights up and you hug them and talk to them.

I'm sorry I messed up the easy relationship we had.

I'm sorry how messy I make everything. I'm sorry I am the way I am and that I can't put my feelings aside to make this easier for both of us.

I'm sorry that thinking about this makes my heart ache.

I'm sorry.